Is it just me, or does it seem like Christians are scared of everything?
I was on Facebook the other day and saw a conversation that has me thinking. A friend of mine posted a link to a book. The caption to his link said, “I want to read this book. Has anyone read it?”
And The flood of comments that followed were about how this book might steer him away from the truth of the Bible.
I understood the sentiment, to a certain extent, and despite the fact that I didn’t know a single one of his commenters in real life, I can easily assume that none of them meant any harm. In fact, I’m fairly certain they were trying to do the right thing. I could identify with them.
I’ve done the same thing before, cautioned people against places or things that I was worried would hurt them.
But it got me thinking about a deeper issue. What are Christians so afraid of?
What am I so afraid of?
It isn’t just books that get Christians really freaked out. We take pretty much any excuse to get our panties in a bunch. We’re scared to celebrate the wrong holidays, to date or marry the wrong person, scared to talk about sex or alcohol or anything that might lead us to stumble.
We’re scared to watch the wrong movies, scared to elect the wrong politician, scared to enjoy anything “secular” that we might fall into the traps of culture.
And I get it. I’m probably the worst at this. But lately I’ve been feeling really convicted.
I must think really highly of myself. What am I so afraid of?
There has to be a difference between conviction and fear. Doesn’t there? Because what I’m not suggesting is that Christians should live without convictions. The problem is, I know from my own experience that sometimes the difference between conviction and fear can be really hard to discern. Which one is driving my decisions? Which one is dictating the advice I give?
Conviction? Or fear?
The Bible talks about fear more than just about anything else, and Jesus talks about it most of all. It makes sense. We live in a scary world. There’s a lot to be afraid of. Every day people are dying or getting Cancer or suffering a broken heart from a relationship or a church or a job gone wrong.
I have lots of friends who have fallen into the “traps” of culture, and lost sight of what is really important in life.
I’ve done that myself.
And yet — God still commands us to “fear not.” He doesn’t suggest it. He commands it. In fact, from what I can tell, the command is in the Bible nearly 400 times (I’m not totally certain about that statistic. I was having a hard time verifying the information. Maybe someone who knows can jump in and help me?) Either way, the Bible has a lot to say about fear. One of my favorites goes like this:
Do not fear for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and I will help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. – Isaiah 41:10
Fear is really unattractive.
People who are controlled by fear spend their whole lives being against things. They often miss out on opportunities or experiences that are really good because they’ll only engage with “good” if there is no chance of “bad.” The problem is there are very few (if any) opportunities for good without bad — at least not this side of heaven.
When I look back on seasons of my life that were dictated by fear, I feel embarrassed. I think about how I acted when I was scared i wouldn’t get married, scared I would be rejected, scared I didn’t have anything valuable to offer. Those are just a few examples.
I made really bad decisions, and I missed out on what God had for me.
Fear doesn’t protect us like we think it does.
While conviction brings clarity, fear clouds our vision. Fear is a natural response to danger, so we think that we’re doing ourselves a favor. We figure this is the way to protect ourselves, and our children. But fear doesn’t protect us. If it did, why would God command us against it? He is our defender, our protector.
Isn’t he?
Are you living controlled by fear, or are you living by your conviction? To reply, click HERE.
Love this Ally. I was born into a family who functions out of fear, married a man whose family functions out of freedom in Christ. It’s been a long journey of undoing my knee-jerk responses to risks that come with dreams. And what you say: “conviction brings clarity, fear clouds our vision” is such truth. God is so much bigger than the little box of fear we try to put Him in.
Shelly — I totally understand that. I always thought I was living relatively free, until I met my husband. Then I realized there were areas I was acting out of fear without realizing it. It’s interesting how that happens.
The more I step outside that “box” of fear, the more I see God provide for me and protect me in really miraculous ways.
To step out from under fear feels so freeing, doesn’t it?
This is terrific Ally! I hate being motivated by fear. I don’t want to be foolish but I agree, there is a difference between conviction and fear. Conviction shows wisdom. Fear is a lack of trust. Thanks for this!
Carrie — you’re welcome! I don’t want to be foolish either, but my realization just helps me to challenge my decisions as I’m making them. Am I choosing this out of fear? Or conviction? What am I afraid of?
Glad you liked the post!
I stumbled across your blog a little while ago and just wanted to say how powerful this post is, and so true. For so long I functioned in fear that of something that could be perceived as wrong. It’s been a slow journey wandering into the freedom that is in Jesus, and learning to tell the difference between convictions and my own fears.
Also, I believe “fear not” is in the Bible 365 times–funnily enough, one for each day of the year.
Kate — thanks for that statistic. I was looking everywhere for a reliable source and couldn’t find one. 365 is perfect. Love that.
The journey out of fear can be slow and painstaking, especially if you’ve functioned for a long time thinking that fear is protecting you. The hope on the other side makes it worth the journey, though, doesn’t it?
Glad you like the post and the blog in general. Thanks for reading and commenting!
Ally, I definitely agree with you that fear is bad (unless it’s fear of the Lord). For the sake of conversation, I want to push back a little on the asking other Christians about books, movies, et al. What if it’s more of an issue of self-protection than fear? What if it’s a safety concern like wearing a seatbelt rather than putting the Lord to the test? What if it’s treating our temple with respect? I don’t have a good answer. These are just things I’m mulling around in my head.
Katie
Katie — the problem with fear as self-protection is that it doesn’t work. Fear doesn’t protect us. We think it does, but often fear actually makes matters worse.
Here’s an example. When I was single, I was afraid of being rejected, so I wouldn’t go on dates. I thought I was protecting myself from rejection but, over the years, I realized that my fear of rejection actually GREW because of my datelessness, rather than went away. “I haven’t had a date in two years,” I would think to myself. “That must be because no one wants to date me.” This can happen in areas of our lives, not just dating.
On the other hand, if I feel convicted not to listen to certain music (because it negatively impacts my attitude) or not to read a certain book (because my understanding of scripture is shallow, and I don’t want to confuse myself) then I should act in that conviction.
But, even when I’m acting in conviction, I don’t have to talk other people into my conviction. I don’t have to defend my conviction to others. And I don’t have anything to be afraid of.
Does that make sense?
Yup, great answer.
Yes, yes and yes.
Thanks Lucie. : )
Thank you so much for this! My decisions in life have largely been ruled by fear- and this reminds me how I have not been given a spirit of fear- and what hasn’t been given me by God, I just don’t need! He didn’t give it to us, so it’s not of His good & perfect gifts – why do we insist on keeping it? Throwing off my fears today – walking in His light!!
Stacey — proud of you. It isn’t easy to throw off those fears (especially since we think they’re protecting us) but it won’t be long before you experience freedom. It’s worth it!
Love this and definitely needed it today.
Love you girl. Praying for you.
Hey Ally, thank you for this. I don’t know if you meant it, but to me, it ties in with what you were posting about earlier in the week in regards to sex before marriage. If you did, then niiiice!! If you didn’t, I think God’s nudging me towards thinking about things like this. I am slooooooowly beginning to learn, in baby steps and with the help of my unbelievably encouraging boyfriend, that as Christians we cannot simply be NOT having sex because we fear the consequences (whether it be what our friends/parents/pastor will think, fear that God will punish or reject us, or even fear of actually enjoying it!). It needs to come from a place of obedience through love (Chris Hodges wrote an AWESOME article on this at Relevant http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god/practical-faith/are-you-loving-god-out-obligation), honour and respect that God knew what he was talking about when he asked us not to, and honour for your partner at the time AND your future spouse. I made this commitment with my mind wellll before I made it with my heart, and your article has really helped me to realise that God does not want us to fear sex. It is a beautiful thing that he made, and he wants us to enjoy it!! It sounds cliche, but your article helped me to realise how fear can never be the right motivation in our lives, in whatever form.
Keep up your wise and strong words, I know that myself and many others are the better for it
your words have far-reaching impacts. Love from the corner of the globe, a twenty year-old in New Zealand!
Jemma — what a great connection. I don’t think I made the link in my mind consciously, but there are definite ties here. Thanks for pointing it out.
And thanks for reading all the way in New Zealand! Appreciate your thoughts and perspective, and your willingness to tell part of your story.
Great post. One of the things I love about my Pastor and our church community is that we want to be known for the things we are “for” (loving God and loving people) rather than the things we are against. When you focus on loving God and loving people, you focus on the things that really matter, instead of all the silly things Christians are so afraid of.
Tammy — Amen. That’s really well said.
I’d rather be known for what I was for than what I was against.
I highly recommend Karen Spears Zacharias’ book, “Where’s Your Jesus Now?” It is an awesome exploration of Christian fear by a Christian writer.
Janet — I love book recommendations! Sounds like a good one. I’ll add it to my list.
“fear doesn’t protect us like we think it does.” what a great reminder! definitely something I needed to hear this week.
So glad, Natasha.
Following Christ is a “faith” based effort, not a “fear” based one. So we are to fear The Lord with awe and reverence as opposed to fearing man which is often rooted in pride or lack of a firm foundation of faith. Fearing God is the beginning of wisdom which leads us into stepping out with faith… Faith He is there when we walk and faith when we fall… Which we all do. I do everyday. It’s true, we make a lot of decisions based on fear and we need to encourage one another that God has placed us in a cray, wonderful and complicated culture where we need to enter in and share the love and redemption of Jesus through faith and not shrink back because we’re afraid of what the culture might do to us.
Suzie — yes, exactly. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for showing me the difference! So many times I allow my fear of the future and fear of being alone to rule my decisions. I need to remember to live by my convictions in what God tells me is truth and stop allowing the fear of losing control to hold me back from the potential of bringing the fullest glory to Christ. Hard to do…clearly, but your post is an encouragement!
Catie — I’m so glad you feel encouraged! The difference is subtle, but really really important. I hope it helps you as much as it has me.
My husband and I guard our marriage relationship with crazy vigilance because we recognize our vulnerability and value what we have. Sometimes this means we pass on some potentially “fun” opportunities. When my husband chooses not to go out one on one with female colleagues, and I choose not to entertain my old college friend alone in our home, we’re not running away from something we fear, as much as we are running toward something we love. I feel the same way about my love relationship with Christ.
From the outside it may seem like a matter of semantics, but it really is a question of heart motivation. Sometimes that can’t be judged from the outside.
Not that I never find myself falling into the fear trap, but fear is a terrible reason for doing anything.
Bridget — I think it’s good to do the things you feel convicted to do to protect your marriage, but that’s different than setting up rules for yourself because you’re scared one or the other of you is going to be unfaithful. Like you said, it might seem like just a semantics issue, but I believe it is a reflection of what’s happening at the heart.
Was that what you were saying?
Bridget,
I don’t think you’re afraid, I think your wise. We need to stand vigilant over the things that matter, but standing firm on what is right, isn’t living in fear.
Such a great blog post. I say this all the time. I struggled with fear to the point of never leaving home, and had to take baby steps to walk free again. I love that you speak so frankly on these subjects. I’d never thought of it as fear, but you’re right, it is. Great stuff!
Barbara,
Christians, of all the people in the world, shouldn’t live a life ruled by fear, should we? I know I’ve found myself guilty of the same thing at times, but for the most part, I’m not afraid of a lot.
I know I’ll face troubles in this life, but I also know that God commands me not to be afraid and He will never leave me or forsake me.
So, here is my perspective on the whole thing, because I was raised Catholic and “born-again”, too. This modern-day fundamentalist ultra-conservative “born-again” Christian culture has created, in my eyes, a flock of over-sensitive, pretentious “spiritual” people who have forgotten the ability to choose what to do on their own without the opinions or directions of their “higher” religious officials or doctrines. Do you really think that all the wisdom in the world can really be found in just one book called The Bible (which is not really one book anyways, but a series of?). If you’re scared to watch a secular movie like “Titanic” because there might be some sexual display in there (and there is), then why are you? I’d like to enlighten you by saying that the further and faster you run away from what you are scared of, no matter how much you believe God will “take it away”, you will only attract what you are scared of more. So, no wonder you have to “keep on going back to church” because you are too afraid to face your sins. Where’s the courage? Where’s the power? Did not Jesus say that we would do greater things than these (and, yes, I know I am paraphrasing). I do not think he was discussing matters of televangelism and the like. It is time, I believe, for the Christian people to put an end to being afraid of a secular world that is not really understood. God put you here, if you believe that. . .I’m pretty sure I do. . .so it’s obvious that I was meant for this world, and I am going to enjoy what is here, with responsibility, and that’s the key, responsibility. I know I’m long winded, but I am trying to be a writer for a living, and what I have really wanted to say is that modern Christianity has become too emotional. Pardon my Francais, but screw emotion. It’s time for Christians to gain the courage to become more objective in their decisions. Stop listening to every pastor that says this is right or that is right because they may just have their nose in your business where it does not belong. Thank you and take care.