In case you missed it, I’ve started a list about things I thought about marriage before I was married. I posted the first five HERE. I’m including thoughts of my own, and a few from other married bloggers. Here’s the second part of the list.
Before I got married I thought that…
6. Fighting was bad
Bad relationships have lots of fighting. Good relationships have lots of kissing. Right?
Here’s the deal. Fighting is necessary. A woman I respect told me that before I was married, but I didn’t believe her, probably because I wanted to live in la-la land where my husband and I would never be mad at each other ever. “Fight with your husband,” she told me. “Fighting is how you build unity.” Now, I believe her.
Fighting is good, as long as you fight with ground rules.
7. You’ll never love your husband more than you do on your wedding day.
I heard this from so many people before my wedding day it’s hard to count. “Soak in every moment. You’ll never feel more love for your husband than you do that day.”
Honestly, it scared me a little to think about that as I stood at the altar. I thought: Okay, this is it. This is the most love I’ll ever feel for my husband.
Don’t get me wrong. I felt love for my husband on our wedding day. Everything was fresh and sweet and new. But if this was the most love I would ever feel for my husband, it also made me a little nervous. As I held his hands and looked into his eyes it was like I also thought, “Wait, who are you?”
My love for my husband grows and deepens every day. Each day I wake up and look over at him and have more appreciation, more respect, more love than I did the day before.
8. A good wife looks like _______.
I worked so hard to be a good wife. I approached it kind of like I did school — I was the annoying kid in the front of class always asking questions that didn’t really matter and trying to be the first one to figure out the answers, reading ahead in the text book.
One day, Darrell just looked at me and said: “Stop trying to be such a good wife. I just want you.”
9. My husband just wanted to be happy
In my worst pictures of marriage, I assumed that it would be a constant wrestling match for happiness. I would have my things that made me happy; he would have his. He would make sure he got what he wanted, and I would have to make sure I took care of myself.
Marriage has been a slow waking up to this reality: Wait, you really want me to be happy?
I’ve watched a few football games with my husband, but he’s watched at least double the number of Gilmore Girls episodes with me (shh, don’t tell him I told you). He doesn’t even like frozen yogurt, but we go at least once a week because he knows how much I like it. I mentioned I didn’t love the decor in our house, and a few days later he sent me shopping to buy a few new things.
My husband really wants me to be happy.
10. I wouldn’t get depressed anymore (from Renee Johnson Fisher — Devotional Diva)
Since I struggle with anxiety, I naturally assumed it was related to being single or would stop as soon as I got married to my incredible husband. Wrong. You can be lonely and depressed in marriage too!
It just feels differently and is a constant reminder to make God #1.
Question: Are you married or single? What are some of your thoughts about marriage? To reply, click HERE.