Photo Credit: francisco_osorio, Creative Commons
“I need to make more time in my life to pray,” she told me, shaking her head.
She had just shared something intimate with me, a dream that had been on her heart for a long time, one she hoped would someday become a reality. And now she had that look on her face —
Like she had done something wrong, and deserved whatever was coming to her.
She must have picturing herself kneeling at her bedside, until her knees were sore she’d been there so long. Or with her nose pressed to the floor, begging and desperate, or inviting a group of women to her home to pray through the night. Her expression was so pained.
She must have been willing those acts into existence.
“If this was something I really wanted,” she told me, “I would pray harder.”
Why don’t I make more time to pray?
But instead of giving her advice about how, if she spent less time on Facebook, or watched less TV, or would just be more disciplined, she would find more time to pray, I did something different.
I asked, “What do you like to do?”
Then, I listened while she gave me the list.
Coffee. Hang out with friends. Christmas movies. Play tennis. I watched her smile come back, and she looked like herself again.
“Guess what?” I asked her, as she finished giggling. “We just prayed.”
She looked at me, shocked.
Sometimes prayer is a solitary activity, one separate from all the noise and action of our lives. Sometimes we have to go away, unplug, turn off our minds and our electronics, and just tune in.
Sometimes we have to press our knees into carpet, or press our noses against hardwoods and let our tears flow, not because this is how prayer works, but because we can’t help it.
Sometimes we stay up all night praying together, not because God won’t listen to us if we don’t, but because we can’t sleep.
We just need to pray.
But prayer is also woven and stitched into the daily activity of our lives.
I pray while I’m driving. Sometimes I don’t really say anything, and God doesn’t say much back, but I just know that He’s there, sitting with me, and that’s enough.
Other times it’s when I’m listening to music.
God speaks to me through all kinds of bands, Christian and otherwise.
He speaks to me when I read my Bible, and when I read other books. He reveals to me things I should change about my life, conversations I should have with people, and things for which I should apologize.
When my husband and I talk to each other kindly, we’re praying.
Our heads don’t have to be bowed, and we don’t have to say “Amen.” God is there when we reign our hearts into the same small space.
That’s prayer.
The other day I prayed on the treadmill. I was at the gym, watching The View, and God spoke to me. He gave me wisdom to see myself in a way I never had. I’m not saying it had anything to do with the treadmill, or the TV show in particular.
I’m just saying it happened.
God is everywhere.
When I gave up on the idea that God only shows up when I’m acting “spiritual,” I started to see him while I was drinking a glass of wine, or taking yoga class or running a marathon. God can meet us in a taco shop. And when I realized that —
My hunger to know him and hear him actually grew.
No one had to tell me to turn off Facebook.
I couldn’t help it. I didn’t want Facebook. I wanted Jesus.
No one had to suggest I start a prayer group, my whole life became a prayer group. I started praying in grocery stores, and car seats, and over Skype calls with people I barely knew.
I couldn’t get enough of it.
I didn’t have to make time for prayer. My whole life became prayerful. I just had to relax into it.
Has that happened for you? Will you tell me about it?
I’m really intrigued by this, but mostly confused. Can you elaborate on your definition of prayer? It’s something I definitely struggle with, and I often also feel like I don’t make enough time for God, to just set aside a few minutes of every day to sit down and talk to/with him. In my mind, that’s what I always associate prayer with, so I’d like to hear more about how you see prayer.
I guess what I mean Angela is that prayer is really more about a heart posture than a set of words we say. So anytime we posture our hearts toward God — even if we do it through another medium like running, writing, music, crafting, or even watching a television show — we’re praying.
Our traditional understanding of prayer as words exchanged between us and God is a good one, but it just is limited. Does that make sense?
Allison, it still seems like a really foreign and vague concept to me – I can’t quite wrap my head around it. To me, I feel like my personal hobbies like reading, watching tv, browsing online, etc – I feel like those are things that I do for me, for my personal enjoyment, and in that sense it seems to me to be more of a selfish thing b/c I’m pretty sure that most times I am not thinking about or directly involving God.
I think there is a difference between doing something for leisure (as in, just to pass the time) and doing something because it gives you great joy. When something gives us great joy, and we give ourselves completely to it, we’re worshiping.
Here’s a specific example. Most of the time when I’m watching TV, I’m just kind of zoning out and distracting myself. My husband, on the other hand, loves to watch TV shows because he is fascinated by the character development, the plot, and the story behind it. Watching TV isn’t that worshipful for me (usually) but for my husband it is.
Hope that helps.
I love this sooooooo much. I said roughly the same thing at a Bible study a few weeks ago and just kind of got the side-eye, and a, “yes, well, let’s move on.” I just love love love this.
Caris — so glad you like it. I’m king of feeling like you at your Bible study right now, with only two comments halfway through the day… I’m thinking “crickets” on this one. Haha.
I guess I didn’t really realize this concept was so on the fringe. Hmm.
I know. I actually checked Practicing the Presence of God out of the library hoping that would give some insight…and then I never got a chance to read it before I had to take it back. Ugh. But I don’t think this concept is at out there as people treat it……I don’t know. I wrote about something similar today too.
That book is definitely worth the read! Clicking over to read your post right now.
Beautiful and so true…
Thank you Amy.
Definitely!
Hello! I enjoyed reading this as I like to try and see how God is present in everything during my day- the washing up, filing at work etc. However, I read a book recently (wish I could remember the title!) which said that prayer is asking for things- that yes, we talk to God, but actual prayer is when we present something we would like to happen. How would you respond to that?
Louise — I read a book recently called The Circle Maker that challenged and strengthened my concept and practice of prayer. In that book Mark Batterson talks about asking for specific things so you can see when God answers your prayers. His book altered my prayer life forever.
I think I would add that prayer is a lot of things. Not just one thing. So yes, prayer is asking for things. But prayer is also offering, singing, speaking, running, caring, resting, and even making love (gasp).
What do you think?
Interesting, I will check out the book. I think that I would agree everything is spiritual, but I wouldn’t label it ‘prayer’. Maybe ‘communing with God’ instead.
Ally, you’re so spot on with this! It wasn’t until I was in college that I really began to understand that how we live our days is itself an act of worship and communion with God. There is a time for the holy, sacred solitude of just sitting and talking to Him (I love to do this through journaling) but at the same time, God communicates with us in a myriad of ways, and we’re allowed, even invited, to do the same. When I’m cooking, reading, cleaning, driving, walking, spending time with my friends, God is there with me and knowing that is enough, even when I don’t have the words and my knees aren’t on the ground.
Yes! Beautiful words, Bethany. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for this, “Anytime we posture our hearts towards God…” If more people really understood this concept, life would be so much better for us all.
Agreed!
Hey, I love your blogs btw!
I think there is a lot to be said about spending time fasting and praying for specific things, and Jesus models this, but I think what you tap into is that the ‘sacred’ and the ‘secular’ are not divided. God is always with/in us and we are always in relationship with Him, He always hears our hearts no matter what we are doing, and He most definitely speaks through many things!
The thing that strikes me is the guilt that the girl speaking to you had over not praying ‘enough.’ Guilt should not be our motivator to pray, and God works His will in our lives, He is sovereign. It is sad what guilt many people have over their spiritual lives… which is so wrong because God took away our guilt through Jesus…..we can rest in HIs work, and pray and interact with Him out of His grace, because its joyful to pray and spend time with Him!
Allie — I totally agree, and I think that’s the point I was trying to make. When she starts to see that prayer is not this painful thing we have to force ourselves to do — but that God really cares about our joy — she wouldn’t have a problem making time to pray. When you’ve experience the presence and love of God, you can’t get enough of it.
This is how it’s happened for me. I tasted the love of God, and after I did, “going without” (like fasting, or setting aside sacred time) didn’t seem like a sacrifice at all because it yielded and even more intimate connection with God.
Hi Allison,
I stumbled across your blog… well I don’t even remember how. But I love your honest voice. I have been going through a whirlwind of a season of questioning God and completely restructuring my faith. The best word I can think of to describe how I’ve felt for the last several months is disoriented.
Thank you for this post. I smiled and got to breathe a sigh of relief reading it, reassured that I’m not crazy. And that God isn’t mad at me for not being “more disciplined” or structured in my “prayer life”, but that he just wants to be around me and know me. That he really is a part of my whole life, not just when I try to control our relationship or plan him into my schedule somewhere. And knowing that brings me peace
Please keep writing the way you do. I appreciate it very much.
Kacey
Yes, yes, yes! Amen. Kacey, thank you for your comment. I’m so happy for you and to hear what God is doing in your life. Keep it up. You’re headed in the right direction and I”m so happy I could assure you of that. You are so loved.
Thank you for reading. Praying for continued peace for you.
Allison,
So much of this vibes with me and the things I’ve been learning during a season of my life that’s been filled with healing, freedom, and growth. I’ve been meeting regularly with a Christian counselor and until then, had no idea how much guilt and condemnation I’d lived under in my Christian life, masking it with “talking the talk” of grace, but not ever letting it truly touch me.
One thing I’d like to add is that, although you discuss how this change of mindset has actually led to you naturally wanting to turn off facebook more and have more of Jesus, this isn’t necessarily something that just all-of-a-sudden happens for everyone. So if someone feels there is something “wrong” with them because their desire doesn’t seem so strong like yours, there is grace, grace, grace and more grace. Only understanding grace will truly set us free and bring us to the place of desiring Jesus…because of that grace. I speak this (well write) even for myself, because I lived under self-hate and shame for so long, that it’s so easy to slip back into that.
But I really love what you’ve shared here! Thank you thank you! (I didn’t mean to get off topic)
Katy, that’s a great point to add and thank you for sharing from your perspective. My favorite part of what you said is that you had always “talked the talk” of grace but never let it touch you. ME TOO! When I let it touch me, it changed me. That’s the emphasis I was going for. God’s grace can’t touch you and leave you unchanged.
Thank you again for your thoughtful reply. I really appreciate it.
YES, YES, YES! God really took me on a journey this year teaching me that prayer can be always. I read a story about a woman who never said amen. She did that because it kept her on constant focus on the Father, even when she was doing the “not-so-spiritual” things like grocery shopping. It’s because of that constant companionship that my heart is opened to the opportunities before me.
Great post, Ally! Total blessing. <3
What a great story! Thank you for sharing that with us, Tara. Love it.