Photo Credit: biblevector, Creative Commons
This is a guest post from Paul Angone. Paul is smart, and way funnier than I am, and he blogs over at All Groan Up. Make sure you visit him there and also show him some love in the comments.
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My junior year of college I felt called to date Jesus, me and my Maker going steady all summer long.
Of course, being a guy, I didn’t exactly label it as such. I wanted the “intentional time” we would be spending together to sound more “Mancave with a couple of beers” than “Song of Soloman with a dash of A Walk to Remember”.
While I admit I wasn’t exactly sure what dating Jesus would look like, I was excited for me and the Almighty to spend so much time together. Driving to the ice cream parlor. Dancing at the summer sock hop. You know the usual 1950′s dating fare as that seemed like the proper decade to attempt such a thing.
And through the month of June, Jesus and I’s relationship blossomed. Long conversations down by the river. Hours lying side by side on the hood of my Honda, Jesus telling me the story behind the Big Dipper and Orion’s Belt, all were memories I’ll never forget.
It was like Sleepless in Seattle While You’ve Got Mail, minus AOL and Meg Ryan.
Then about halfway into June, a miracle happened. I met a cute blonde girl named Katie who was also dating Jesus exclusively for the summer.
Praise be the Lord.
Within a week it didn’t take C.S.-Lewis-like wisdom to know that Katie and I were meant to date Jesus, together. This way we could keep each other accountable from our eyes wandering to all those heathenly humans focused on merely dating each other. Katie, Jesus, and I — together. It was ordained before we were born, of this we were both sure.
But everything changed at the 4th of July picnic. The Holy Spirit joined us for the evening, and as Jesus and H.S. left to grab a few brats and lemonades, Katie and I’s eyes turned to Jesus, and then to each other — the fireworks finale one I’d never forget.
Katie and I didn’t even notice when the fireworks finished. Or that Jesus was standing next to us — a gasp and falling brat, snapping us back into reality.
I’ll never forget the look on Jesus face as the last firework exploded across the sky. Betrayal. Pain. The agony of the third-wheel. Before I could say a word.
Jesus was gone.
I wanted to run after him. I wanted to plead that it wasn’t him, it was me. That I still really valued him and didn’t want to lose our friendship. But I didn’t. I couldn’t.
But hey, it’s not like it was all my fault. Dating Jesus wasn’t always sunbeams and hallelujahs. I mean, what about all those meals he never picked up the tab for like I expected? How about the times in our relationship that he felt distant and aloof? Or how about when he said some downright hurtful words that he claimed I needed to hear.
Dating Jesus wasn’t all sock-hops and sugar-plumbs.
The Problem with Dating Jesus
But maybe there are a few inherent problems with going steady with Jesus. Maybe we’re not meant to, you know, date God. Maybe when we try to date Jesus, we riddle Him with our expectations of what we think dating should look like.
We substitute our memories and experiences of dating Michael or Mary and we put The Alpha and the Omega in there instead.
When I decided I was going to date Jesus my intentions weren’t bad, my label was. I think if we had a DTR (Define the Relationship) with Jesus sitting on park swings or on that wall by the ocean, Jesus would be one of those “let’s not put a label on this” kind of people. Because the kind of relationship Jesus wants to have with us is much bigger and all encompassing.
Because most of the time when you date, you break up.
Yes, I think God wants to be in a crazy scandalous intimate love relationship with us. I just learned the hard way that dating him is maybe not the best way to get there.
Have you ever tried to date Jesus? To reply, click HERE.
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Paul Angone is the creator of All Groan Up, a community for emerging adults searching for self, faith, and a freaking job. Snag a free copy of his ebook 21 Secrets for your 20’s and follow him at @PaulAngone.
While I agree that sometimes choosing to not focus on romance so you can focus in Jesus is a good idea, I agree that the idea of dating/marrying Jesus is a bit problematic. It isn’t just for the what happens when you want to date someone who isn’t lord of the universe issue. I’ve noticed that among Christian women who claim Jesus as their boyfriend/husband, they often tend to miss or distort the richness of what scripture teaches about the Church being the bride of Christ (or similar collective metaphors such as in Hosea in the Old Testament) by applying them to themselves individually. Of course not everyone who claims to be dating Jesus does this, but it does seem to be a common mistake.
Thanks Joanna. Well said.
I’ve never used the “I’m dating Jesus” line, for a lot of the reasons you mention here (quite humorously, too!). It’s definitely good for me to use however long I’m single to intentionally focus on my relationship with Jesus, but dating him just seems…a bit creepy, as well as kind of theologically flawed.
Ha. Thanks Brianna. Intentionality is awesome. Awkward first dates with Jesus, not so much.
great post, paul! can’t say i’ve ever set out to date jesus and i think you’ve nailed it on the head as to why.
Thanks Tim!
Having attended a very intense private Christian college, I have definitely heard people say that they were happily single, waiting for the “one” while they dated Jesus. We all know what that really means…and besides, why are we always waiting? Even after getting married to a wonderful man, I feel like I am always ‘waiting’ for the next best thing…we are never truly content with our present situations. Moving on, to label our relationship with Jesus, as you said, the Alpha and Omega, after a human definition of a very flawed, American, western mentality is like labeling the transcendent, humanly impossible act of justification from sins (Jesus stepping in and saying he did all the bad things we have done and taking our place before the judgement seat of God) as ‘hooking up’…it’s crass and doesn’t even come close to the truth. It’s so interesting how changing our beliefs and perception about something totally affects our behavior (if we really change them).
Jesus is my bro, not my… well, you know.
Ha. Well said and well played Joe.
This was a very humorous, albeit, true article about a phase in most relationships with Jesus. Coming from a Christian University I saw this all the time, and participated even, in dating Jesus. Now having graduated a few years ago, and entering the quarter-life crisis period of my life , I loved this article’s honestly and humor about “Dating Jesus!” Keep up the great work!
Thanks Sarah! This article was a fun one to write.
Anytime you have Jesus and the Holy Spirit grabbing brats together, you know you’re on to something…
Thanks for this, Paul. I’ve always thought this was a great sentiment hidden in terrible phrasing. I don’t think I have ever dated someone who has told me to sell everything and follow them.
“great sentiment hidden in terrible phrasing”
Well said Cort! Thank you
While I have never “dated Jesus,” I have been in a very committed relationship. My husband Lewis, helped me find what having a ‘relationship’ with Christ really meant. While I do not date Christ, I feel that you either fully commit yourself to a never ending love for him (and him for you) or you “date” like most people do; half in and half out. I choose to be fully committed to HIM and to my Husband.