If I asked you to tell me about yourself, what would you say? Or what if you were meeting someone for the first time, and they wanted to know what you were about — what details would you give them?
One year ago, if you were to ask me to tell you about myself, here are the qualities I would have listed.
I was single, lived in Portland, Oregon, in an apartment with a friend downtown. I worked for myself and was a part of Solid Rock Church, and loved my community there. Something interesting about myself was that I didn’t own a car, and loved to ride my bike and navigate public transportation around the city.
I also kept a blog where I wrote mostly about dating and relationships.
The problem is that now, one year later, none of those things are true about me.
To make matters worse, a few weeks ago I took a test that told me my personality profile. I was excited to see the results because it’s been a long time since I’ve taken a test like this, and because after all that has changed, I felt like it would give me a handle on what my strengths and gifts are in this season.
The problem was I took the test, and the results came back “unreadable.”
The proctor of the test told me, “Sometimes that happens after periods of intense change or transition — it’s normal. Try taking the test again in a couple of months.”
His words were supposed to be comforting.
But they weren’t.
It was such a disheartening feeling to look around my life, and not recognize any of it. It was hard to feel like I didn’t have a personality anymore. I told my husband, “If someone were to ask me to tell me about myself, I wouldn’t know what to say.”
Here’s the thing I’m learning in this season. I am not defined by my city, my marital status, my preference in transportation, my hobbies, or even my strengths and gifts. I’m not defined by my personality, my friend group, my church community, my hair color, or my clothing choices. I’m not defined by any of the things that most of us use to define ourselves.
So if we can’t define ourselves by any of those things — how are we supposed to define ourselves?
I’ve been wrestling with this lately, and I can’t say I have all the answers, but I will tell you — I’ve been asking the questions. I’ve been asking God to show me: Who do you say I am? The answers are surprising me.
Question: How do you define yourself?
Ally,
I’ve struggled with the same thing. When people ask me to describe myself or give a bio of my life I really have to sit and think. I’ve been in this body for 29 years but for the past year my life has done a 360. I’m not who I was a year ago. Hell, I’m not even the person I was six months ago.
The point is, I’m still growing, changing, learning. The thing I always come back to is: I know who I am in Christ. God isn’t concerned with what I do or what I have, He’s concerned with who I am.
Seeing myself the way God sees me is the challenge. But I know I’ll get there. And so will you.
Godspeed, beautiful!
I agree. Your life circumstances and situations will change but your values, morals, and personality traits will not change. Perhaps that’s what we should use to define ourselves. Great post, by the way.
god tells us we have one identity and one identity only – children of god. i am a child of god, you are a child of god. earthly labels and distinctions will fall away, but the one who lives in us will last forever.
Sis. This is a question I ask myself about 50 times a day as I fight the identity/worth idols that grab my attention. I think each morning it is so important for me to plead Jesus’ life and righteousness as my own, that is the only identity that I have that is indestructible and is increasing. All things flow from that. Gospel, Gospel cookie (that is one of my nicknames, I talk to myself all day long)
I think it is important to ask this question every now and then. This question can be answered in so many ways. For me, personally, I would say I am who God wants me to be. He is after all the author of my life.
You know the best advice I ever got was “Britt be Britt.” The problem was I had no idea who I was. I had my interests down sure but most of them had to do with my community and what they liked to do. Ever since that day I have been learning and growing in who Britt is. Then the Lord rocked me moved me all the way down here- South Florida- and again I have no idea. You my lovely friend are not alone in this- as we both are well aware.
I am learning from the Word- from who He says I am. And day by day I get a better picture of who I am.
Another way is seeing when I get really excited about things- Clue for example just brings me some crazy amount of joy. When you light up you must love it:) And you light up often.
I can make a list of who I see you as, and I will continue to share day by day, but I am excited that He is showing you moment by moment.
How we define ourselves is something that’s been on my mind for the past month and a half. I’ve been wondering if I shouldn’t write about it and maybe submit to Prodigal. I think you just sold me on that, Ally.
Ally, this is actually something I’ve been wrestling with lately too because I feel like a chameleon, defined by the situation around me, changing as often as the situation changes. A year and a half ago, I was a single, Christian college student living with 5 of my best friends in a campus suite. Oh, and I have a blog people tell me I’m obsessed with. Well, I’m still single, Christian, and obsessed with blogging. I’m also freelance writer (aka small business owner and contacted employee at my alma mater) who is simultaneously building a platform and resume, planning to move for the third time in about a year (not including the three weeks I was in China), and not exactly sure of what comes next in life.
Who am I really? It depends on the minute you ask me. I think I’m ok with that… this minute.
Katie
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I’m definitely in the same boat. I got married a year and a half ago, and I know that I would still be kind of floating around lost if I hadn’t gotten married. In a way I’m still floating a bit. I’m doing what needs to be done as a wife and co-owner of a business, but not really pursuing my own dreams or digging into who I am. It’s a process, but I also get so anxious when people ask me who I am or what I like or what I really want to do with my life. I never have answers. I know it’s a process, though. Thanks for sharing yours!
I’ve been wrestling with some of the same issues. I have one way I see myself, a way that I want the world to see me, different friends have different interpretations of my personality, and then God, who sees me in a new, better way.
When I try to stick labels on my life, I find that labels lie. They are shortcuts that really can’t define the intricacies of who God sees us as.
“Writer.”
“Single.”
“Adventurous.”
These are all temporary things. I can’t place my future on them. I have to keep drawing back to how I know God sees me and the rest of his children.
We’re beautiful. Beloved.Precious. Conquerers. Important to God.Chosen.Delighted in.Enough. Adopted.
Those are just some of the things we are. It’s such a beautiful thing, Ally!
This question has been fresh in my mind for months now. To be honest, I don’t know how to define myself. I’ve always let others define me, picked out the definitions I liked the best and then used those to answer the “Who are you” question. It’s sad, but it’s the truth.
good thoughts. I’ve been thinking about that the past couple of days, and not defining myself by other people’s thoughts and expectations of me. It’s hard though. I think the only thing we can truly be defined by is in being an image of God. But that’s not very specific, and doesn’t make allowances for individuality and personalities….so I don’t know. Is our definition ‘image-bearer’ and everything else that we like, and do, and eat, and wear, are just accessories?
I went through a similar identity crisis shortly after I rededicated my life to the Lord. My life was turned inside out and upside down, no stone unturned. I couldn’t fall back on anything I once knew, except God, and even my understanding of him was changing.
That was just the beginning of a stripping away that has never really ended, as God patiently makes me more like him. Maybe for some people it’s all kind of gradual, maybe I just had some major issues that had to be dealt with swiftly and brutally, but that initial phase was disorienting, to say the least.
I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, but looking back, I see the loving hand of my Father, and know that he always knows what’s best.
I am constantly defining and redefining myself. Some definitions stay for a while and others disappear rather quickly. However
What were some of your answers your Allison?Funny thing is I just wrote a blog post about this on my blog,I always defined myself by my credentials,and placed importance on becoming a doctor.I didnt,and my self esteem suffered for it.I’m recovered from that and ow working on becoming what God wanted me to be.But i still dont know what to say when someone asks who are you?would appreciate the feedback! xoxo (
http://thebookwormgiraffe.blogspot.de/ )